Confidence is such an interesting topic. Why does it feel like some people have it while others don’t? Are we born a butt naked screaming ball of confidence into this world but then slowly lose it along the way or is it some innate gift that only certain people are blessed with? If I feel self conscious am I not confident? Or can I be both? And finally, how do I feel more confident?
Well friends, you’re in luck, because I have exactly zero answers to any of those questions, because again I’m not a professional, but I kind of want to discuss it with you today and give you my opionon.
During this blogging mini series we are going really dive deep into the confidence shortage in our society and really analyze, from my perspective, what is happening and how we can heal and grow into the beautiful person God made you to be.
I’ll be honest, when I grew up and even today, people come up to me they comment on how confident I am but up until recently I didn’t really know what that meant. Like I understand what confidence is but how in the world can I portray that to the outside world when my inner voice is wreaking havoc on my mental health? How can everyone, even people I don’t know pick up on something in me that I can’t even detect is there?
My older self has wrestled with these questions over and over again and I think I’ve come to what I believe to be true. Everyone is confident. I think we are all born into this world spewing confidence in ourselves. I think when we are babies/toddlers wobbling around the only thing we can be is 100% unapologetically who we were meant to be, but slowly over time our things change us. Our experiences, environments, and loved ones or lack thereof, change us, scar us, and mold us to the world.
Don’t get me wrong, not all of that is bad either though, by a show of hands, how many people are glad we were taught wearing clothes is a good thing? Or they’re glad that they understand laughing at a funeral is not appropriate? How about pooping in your pants? I bet you really enjoy using the toilet instead.
Then there are other things that shape us and erode the confidence we had, like having your parent call you fat, ugly, and stupid on a regular basis. Or having the whole 5th and 6th grade classes cheering that you are a pig while you cry into your friends lap, that’d do some damage. How about having your teacher call you stupid in front or your whole math class just for spelling a word wrong? These are just very small clips that have contributed to my invoice convincing me that I have no confidence and that I’m undeserving of the path God has for me. And if you dug deep I know you would probably have more than enough points in your life you could pinpoint that slowly chipped away at your sense of self as well.
So where do we go from here? You’ve analyzed your life, you’ve acknowledged that you have had things chip away at you, but how do I feel like I’m 100% unapologetically who I was born to be? That is a great question! I will talk to you more on the next leg of this mini series!
Until then I’m rooting for you, you matter, and you are not allowed to quit. Love you all!