Before we get fully into date night idea stuff, I thought I would explain why this whole part of my website exists.
Before we had our daughter we didn’t really have any “dates” at least not in the way we do now. We would go out to eat, hang around the house, and do things together but by no means did we intentionally set aside time and energy to connect. We didn’t have kids so purposely connecting wasn’t on our radar I guess. As I’m writing this it sounds ridiculous, because now I realize we should all be intentional about the most important relationship God has given us all the time. We did everything together, though, so dressing up and going to dinner was just another Friday to us.
….Then came Juniper….
All 7lbs 15oz of fire and spit came tearing into this world and it changed our whole dynamic. It changed what, when, where, and why we did EVERYTHING. Worst of all it changed how we communicated. We went from being able to connect and love on each other everyday without even thinking about it to full on survival of the fittest mode. It. Was. Bad. It was lonely. And it was sleepless.
As she got bigger things began to settle down and everything just became less stressful. I noticed the way we communicated towards each other didn’t change, though. We were still in survival mode even though there was no need for it anymore and the more we lingered there the more I felt like we were becoming just roommates and less than in love anymore.
Would we ever get back to the way things were?
Who was this guy sitting next to me?
Do I even know him anymore?
Sidebar real quick. Okay I’m aware of how dramatic my inner monologue is, but I’m putting it all out there for you guys. You aren’t getting some fluffed up version of my life. I always want to show you the raw me; completely flawed, dramatic as crap, 100% real me.
Anyways, those were the actual questions that swirled around in my head until one day my thinking changed. It hit me, something so simple would change the way we conducted ourselves in our relationship for the better. Here it is….Absolutely nothing was going to change if we didn’t put the effort in to change it. It sounds so simple but how many times do we want change ro happen in our lives but don’t actually want to put in the effort to do so? I know it happens to me ALL the time. Have you ever wanted to drop weight but don’t want to exercise and eat right? Well then it’s probably not going to happen for you then, is it? Do you want to be financially stable but don’t want to give up your daily Starbucks and Doordash? The odds aren’t in your favor with that one either. Want a better marriage? Well than you have to put in the effort to make it better. Plan and simple.
Okay so now I know something has to change, but how? So I went to Jordan and expressed my feelings and we both came to the conclusion that we needed to start going on intentional dates. We knew we wanted to connect with each other at least one day a week because any other length just didn’t feel right for us but what could we really do?
So again a little dramatic but let me remind you, we just had a kid. Kids are expensive. I’m also a SAHM so we are very purposeful about where we invest our money and one out to eat dinner a week just isn’t in the budget right now, especially when you consider a low end dinner out is $20-40 and that turns into a $40-$70 dinner after you add in the cost of the babysitter. Also, Juniper goes to bed at seven so bringing her and hoping she behaves so we could skip the babysitter was WAY out of the question. I have a pretty flexible, chill baby you guys, but you don’t mess with her bedtime or else I’ll be regretting it the next day.
And then, it hit me. Why couldn’t we date each other at home? I mean Juniper goes to bed at seven that gives us 2-4 hours to do an activity and connect with each other. Why not? So that settled it. We would take turns to purposely plan some home dates and if it was in the budget we’d try to get out of the house at least once a month.
So I’m putting our dates out there for you to use, copy, and do with them as you please. It is so important to nurture your relationship with your significant other and I hope this post inspires you to do so!
I really do hope that through my words, you receive encouragement and that you discover you are not alone in this mess we call adulthood. I’m rooting for you.
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